von_geisterhand | Entries tagged with sexuality

This occured to me recently. I have two or three more profound ponderings I might or (more likely) will not share with a larger audience but this is short and to the point, so I can ask it now:
As I have stated before, I am about as interested in my friends' sexual orientation as I am in their preferences in jam/marmelade for breakfast. However, I have over the years heard various arguments to back up the theory that being gay is unnatural/wrong/sick. And while I disagree with them or in some cases have to say that it might come down to a matter of interpretation/opinion, the proposed arguments do in many cases at least have a coherent internal logic. If for example you subscribe to the theory that the purpose of sex is procreation and not pleasure, yes, it does follow that gay activity is unnatural/wrong. However....

What I can not figure out though is a logical argument against bisexuality that goes beyond those raised against unisex preferences. Have any of you wise and experienced people ever been faced with one of those and if yes, what was it?

Current Mood: discontent
Current Music: Jarvis Cocker - Cunts are still running the world

I really don't know how I feel about the casting of an actual transsexual as the "Sweet Transvestite". :-/ I mean, it's blunt and it's obvious and it's gimmicky but then again it's a FOX production for the "youth of today". I don't really think that releasing another film version of RHPS is the sacrilege that some groups may be treating it as. IMHO it is as necessary/valid as, say that recent run of "Jesus Christ Superstar" featuring John Lydon as Herod. I mean, Joel Grey is cool but Alan Cummings is, too, and he's probably more up to the task of performing an entire musical than Mr. Grey. So, meh!
However I also think that Rocky Horror is very much a product of its time and while it certainly has helped people find themselves/their true sexuality back in the day and while undoubtedly people are still finding likeminded individuals through it even nowadays, it doesn't really hold up any longer. Society has moved on and men in drag are no longer the wreckers of civilisation they used to be.
Also, Frank N. Furter is still an alien, per definitionem "The Inhuman Other". And an evil alien at that. Not really a poster boy for tolerance.

Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: Test Dept.

I've been watching the Ellen-Page-speech about five times today and each time her coming out passes, I feel myself welling up a bit more. And I hate myself for it. I hate the fact that it is still a big thing in this world to make an admission like that, that it still has to be considered a brave act to essentially say "I might want to kiss somebody who I will never be inseminated by". By an actress in Hollywood, people. I know actors and I have ideas about Hollywood and I am certain that there are shitloads of gay actors and actresses out and about working all over Hollywood. Surely this cannot be an issue there anymore.
Ellen Page, star of "Juno" and "Hard Candy", also hardly is the poster girl for traditional family values but I understand that a young and attractive woman is bound to be a better headline grabber than an aged man like Joel Schumacher (Yes, he is gay. Haven't you seen his Batman films?), even if it does make me grumble on some level.

But each time I watch the clip, I see a bit more of her nervousness and her vulnerability and each time it does touch me and make me glad that here is somebody who might now be well on her way to a happiness and level of comfort that is currently eluding me, if she hasn't found it already.

Current Mood: sad

The article has a good overall message but there are some details where I feel the author is too optimistic/utopian to the point of naivité. Still, very worth reading and thinking about.

The danger in demonizing male sexuality.

Current Mood: cynical
Current Music: Current 93 - Invocation of Almost

Two links apropos of nothing in particular:

Men photographed in clichéd Pin-up poses

The idea is interesting/funny but I disagree with the attached statement:
It’s interesting how much more absurd some poses instantly look when they’re being done by men.
That's like saying that you only realise just how ridiculous some lap dog outfits look when you put them on a pitbull.* It all comes down to socio-esthetics and role concepts. None of these are any more ridiculous than any others. Yes, you may laugh at the Hyperbarbies on telly but in the end they are just an elaboration and aesthetic distillation of an idea of "femininity". Or maybe you enjoy Jodie Marsh more the way she looks now.

Slut Rock? Louise Brown On Using Sexuality & Gender In Metal

I admit that I have recently become somewhat out of touch with trends in metal but this filled me with very good memories of my headbanging days. I actually had not been aware of how many fantastic female-fronted metal bands are out there but remember just how taken I was with Kitty, My Ruin and Queen Adreena for a while. I might post some Queen Adreena later. :-)

Speaking of Pitbull: I saw the video to the "Men in Black III"-theme. When a song makes you long even for a fraction of a second for one of the Will-Smith-tracks, you know you've done something wrong.

Current Mood: nostalgic
Current Music: Mushroomhead - The War inside

I had a friend over last night who I hadn't seen in a while and in the course of discussing our respective lovelives, the topic of conversation came to Genesis Breyer P-Orridge, who you will recall I saw an exhibition of a year ago.
After I had passionately described GPO's art my friend asked the inevitable question of "Is he gay?" and I had to pause for a moment.

Because obviously the answer is that to all accounts of purposes (or at least as far as I know) Genesis P-Orridge is and has always been remarkably heterosexual, dating and marrying women, having children with them and writing self-pitying songs after his GF breaks up with him. Not to forget displaying (s)his dick whenever possible. But obviously that is only part of the story.
This whole identity thing has a lot of grey areas.

Current Music: Neurosis - Times of Grace

http://coilhouse.net/2011/03/how-to-make-love-to-a-trans-person/

I think I'll have to read it a few more times before I can truly say whether or not I like it. At the moment, it doesn't trigger any sort of emotion in me but we shall see what the evening brings. Maybe one or two of you feel stronger about it.

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: Current 93 - Benediction

A friend posted a link to an account of a woman describing her feelings at having been told that her sister is gay and the special bond she now feels with her, as well as some of the thoughts she had at now being an "ally" of her sister's.

I have the feeling that I might have said so before, but I really dislike the term "ally" in this institutionalised form. But maybe that is a matter of personal view.

Yes, you may find out new things about your friends, your relatives, your colleagues etc. and maybe it changes the way or some part of the way you look at them* but I really hate the way that this is then turned into "The person you thought you knew has become a totally alien creature. He/she can now see things you will never be able to dream of, but if you try really hard, you might become an Ally." Fuck that!

Yes, of course that person's POV on the world might be totally different from yours and in all likelihood you will never fully share that person's image of the world and that person's feelings but you know what? That's normal. That's the way it was before and that's the way it's now.
There is a quotation from Aldous Huxley in "The Doors of Perception" I think which basically said that as much as we try to pretend that there is society and there is community, in the end, we all experience life fully individually and on our own. By extension, we are all but allies to each others' lives, if you so will.
Formalising it into the "Ally"-terminology to me makes it feel like I am actually more separated from my friend than I was before, when I considered all the "duties, responsibilities and benefits of being an Ally" just normal aspects of being a friend.

(None of this changes the fact that I am very happy and slightly "Aww!" at Zara and Spectra's experience. 8^D )

*I know that I said elsewhere that the only time and the only circumstances I consider it correct and necessary to inform somebody else of whst particular gender-setup you normally get the hots for is in the run-up to getting jiggy (or not) with that person. That is not the only opinion I have on that subject.
The other thought I have on that subject is that I actually kind of want to know what floats the boats of those near and dear, but only in the sense that I consider it a part of the person they are and because I want to have as clear a picture of my friends as I can. But that's an facette/ piece of information about as important as "That's James. He likes strawberry jam.", not a stigma and not a label which exclusively defines that person.

Current Mood: weird
Current Music: kid606 - Woofer Wrecker

I am starting to wonder if the one and only way to reply to any question about your sexual orientation might not be "Why? Do you want to sleep with me?", as surely this is the only circumstance under which the other person really needs to have that particular piece of information.
Anything else is just an attempt to put you into a neat category.

In other news, snappy jokes, one-liners and stand-up comedy will most likely die out in the intermediate future, as all of these rely intrinsically on a pre-established idea of what a certain group/type of people is like. Looking at what passes for comedy these days, I say Good Riddance.

Current Mood: cynical
Current Music: Merzbow & Genesis P-Orridge - All beauty is our enemy