And now...

[von_geisterhand]

...for no better reason than me thinking that it might tryste and tamdragon (and lots of other people) smile, a little music:


Detachable Penis, by King Missile
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
Its detachable.

[background singing begins: "detachable penis" over and over]

This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think its gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I dont need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I cant for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldnt find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadnt seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really dont like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Marks Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I dont know.
Even though sometimes its a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.

[background voices continue to sing "detachable penis" for
a while, then out]


And while I'm on it, here's another one song I had to think of recently. It's silly, but it's good and in any case, you can't really argue with it:


The bigger the cushion
The sweeter the pushin'
Yeah that's what I said
The looser the waistband
The deeper the quicksand
Or so I have read
My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo
I love to sink her with my pink torpedo
Big bottom
Big bottom
Talk about bum cakes
My gal's got 'em
Big bottom
Drive me out of my mind
How can I leave this behind

I saw her on Monday
'Twas my lucky bun day
You know what I mean
I love her each weekday
Each velvety cheekday
You know what I mean
My love gun's loaded and she's in my sights
Big game's waiting there inside her tights
Big bottom
Big bottom
Talk about mud flaps
My gal's got 'em
Big bottom
Drive me out of my mind
How can I leave this behind?

Because a handful sometimes just isn't enough. 8-)

Comments

[tamdragon.livejournal.com]

Hee hee, I love when I help inspire a post :)

These have been a really good few days talkin' with ya. I WANT MORE!!!!!