I don't know, is ist me or is there something in the air affecting peoples' eyes and brains? Just days after the run-in with Conservative Girl, the SO decided to buy a new pair of trousers, a quest I accompanied her on. The sales lady was possibly slightly egocentric, possibly a little pushy, but definitely very verbal. Cheerful, too. She sold the SO a pair of trousers whic definitely looked good and attempted to also sell her one which nobody but the sales-lady liked. She probably would have tried to sell me one, as well, had it not been for the SO's fast thinking. So far, so good. Then she asked us whether we were heading for the CSD later one. After I told her that no we weren't, as we were having a friend come over later, it finally dawned on her that we were not in fact a lesbian couple. Apparently it was once more the hair that did it.

Yesterday then, as I was taking the tube across town I then found myself at the receiving end of some interesting lewd gestures from some young bloke of migratory background. At least I think he meant me. Possibly his energetic tongue was directed at the female half of the couple next to me, who were a little more embarrassed by the experience than I was.

Discussion about the possibility of a female "Doctor Who"

Stuff like this makes me mentally grind my teeth. People, this is Sci-Fi/Fantasy! Anything is possible! Having a massively powerful character who AFAIK does not do much in the way of gender-dependent behaviour anyway and who habitually changes his flesh-envelope as is, should take inhabiting a body which those around interpret as female for a while in her stride no problem.
Think bigger!

(Or have I just read too many "Culture"-novels?)

I had a friend over last night who I hadn't seen in a while and in the course of discussing our respective lovelives, the topic of conversation came to Genesis Breyer P-Orridge, who you will recall I saw an exhibition of a year ago.
After I had passionately described GPO's art my friend asked the inevitable question of "Is he gay?" and I had to pause for a moment.

Because obviously the answer is that to all accounts of purposes (or at least as far as I know) Genesis P-Orridge is and has always been remarkably heterosexual, dating and marrying women, having children with them and writing self-pitying songs after his GF breaks up with him. Not to forget displaying (s)his dick whenever possible. But obviously that is only part of the story.
This whole identity thing has a lot of grey areas.

A friend posted a link to an account of a woman describing her feelings at having been told that her sister is gay and the special bond she now feels with her, as well as some of the thoughts she had at now being an "ally" of her sister's.

I have the feeling that I might have said so before, but I really dislike the term "ally" in this institutionalised form. But maybe that is a matter of personal view.

Yes, you may find out new things about your friends, your relatives, your colleagues etc. and maybe it changes the way or some part of the way you look at them* but I really hate the way that this is then turned into "The person you thought you knew has become a totally alien creature. He/she can now see things you will never be able to dream of, but if you try really hard, you might become an Ally." Fuck that!

Yes, of course that person's POV on the world might be totally different from yours and in all likelihood you will never fully share that person's image of the world and that person's feelings but you know what? That's normal. That's the way it was before and that's the way it's now.
There is a quotation from Aldous Huxley in "The Doors of Perception" I think which basically said that as much as we try to pretend that there is society and there is community, in the end, we all experience life fully individually and on our own. By extension, we are all but allies to each others' lives, if you so will.
Formalising it into the "Ally"-terminology to me makes it feel like I am actually more separated from my friend than I was before, when I considered all the "duties, responsibilities and benefits of being an Ally" just normal aspects of being a friend.

(None of this changes the fact that I am very happy and slightly "Aww!" at Zara and Spectra's experience. 8^D )

*I know that I said elsewhere that the only time and the only circumstances I consider it correct and necessary to inform somebody else of whst particular gender-setup you normally get the hots for is in the run-up to getting jiggy (or not) with that person. That is not the only opinion I have on that subject.
The other thought I have on that subject is that I actually kind of want to know what floats the boats of those near and dear, but only in the sense that I consider it a part of the person they are and because I want to have as clear a picture of my friends as I can. But that's an facette/ piece of information about as important as "That's James. He likes strawberry jam.", not a stigma and not a label which exclusively defines that person.