In circles

May. 19th, 2016 04:38 pm
von_geisterhand: (Default)
I suspect that you lied to me.
And in truth I don't mind you did.
It wasn't a big lie and it wasn't an important distinction.
But it gives me food for thought
because
if you did, you lied to me only because you think I lied to you earlier
Which I didn't.
Which I never did.

I do not want to play this game.

Our tragedy

May. 3rd, 2016 03:34 pm
von_geisterhand: (Default)
We turn into the people somebody less experienced thought they should be
and break the hearts of the creatures we are.
von_geisterhand: (Default)
(and I am aware of all its flaws)

You are the perfect lady for the man I had hoped to be today.
I pray that you will soon meet somebody who measures up.
von_geisterhand: (Default)
I've been watching the Ellen-Page-speech about five times today and each time her coming out passes, I feel myself welling up a bit more. And I hate myself for it. I hate the fact that it is still a big thing in this world to make an admission like that, that it still has to be considered a brave act to essentially say "I might want to kiss somebody who I will never be inseminated by". By an actress in Hollywood, people. I know actors and I have ideas about Hollywood and I am certain that there are shitloads of gay actors and actresses out and about working all over Hollywood. Surely this cannot be an issue there anymore.
Ellen Page, star of "Juno" and "Hard Candy", also hardly is the poster girl for traditional family values but I understand that a young and attractive woman is bound to be a better headline grabber than an aged man like Joel Schumacher (Yes, he is gay. Haven't you seen his Batman films?), even if it does make me grumble on some level.

But each time I watch the clip, I see a bit more of her nervousness and her vulnerability and each time it does touch me and make me glad that here is somebody who might now be well on her way to a happiness and level of comfort that is currently eluding me, if she hasn't found it already.
von_geisterhand: Monika küsst Jörg. Sie liebt ihn. (kiss)
Absolutely shite weather out there. This is not the way I imagined this summer, but then this is not the way I imagined a fair few things.
I feel motivated to listen to Sol Invictus' "An english garden", even though this charming if creepy ghost story has changed in associations for me. Yes, I can still see the english garden in the rain in front of me but now I also see the staircase leading upstairs in the house, the terrifying calm having descended upon it, every last creature in the house under the fog of expecting the screaming to start again.

There was a time when I still had the paradise lost in front of my inner eye, knowing where and what it was I wanted to return to. These days, all that has faded and I seem to not even have the words to describe it anymore.
von_geisterhand: Monika küsst Jörg. Sie liebt ihn. (nekro)
It seems a bit silly to complain about this as I guess that things turned out exactly as expected, except that I obviously expected to be disappointed and therefore am surprised that I wasn't. If you get my meaning.

I picked up a book at a library sale. It is a book which I had been interested in for well over 10 years now, after somebody mentioned it as having been an inspiration to a play I had been rather impressed by.

"Happy like murderers: The true story of Fred and Rosemary West". If you don't know who the Wests are/were and are of a sensitive disposition, you might not want to google them.

Seriously, even though I knew of them and even though I sought that book in order to find about all the grisly details, it is making me feel eversoslightly filthy and uneasy.
I was about 100 (of 468) pages in when I thought "I absolutely lost track of how many rapes and sexual abuses were featured up to now and only one of them was committed by the Wests."
The book does not really give you the feeling that Gloucester was/is a particularly nice place to live, especially if you are young and female. And while it does describe the harsh life and abuse that Fred and Rose suffered themselves, you never really feel any sympathy for them. They are just that sickening.

Or maybe it's just the author's odd way of phrasing things.
von_geisterhand: (glowy symbol)
THANK YOU!
([livejournal.com profile] tryste and [livejournal.com profile] barashkukor)
von_geisterhand: (Default)
Die BPjS hat endlich ihr Gehirn gefunden und seit vorgestern ist das erste Album der Ärzte, "Debil", wieder frei und für jederkind erhältlich zu kaufen.
Delta Radio hat, diesem historischen Anlass entsprechend, das einzig richtige getan und "Claudia" diverse Male gespielt. Jetzt, wo man das wieder darf...

Es mag lächerlich sein, aber ich fühlte mich doch etwas bewegt.

Mal sehen, wann die anderen Alben vom Index verschwinden.

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